Pursuing Perfection

What if I told you that my children just aren’t good enough? I’ve told them what I expect but they just won’t do it. I am patient and they break the rules. I give them what they need and they don’t thank me half of the time. I love them but they can’t seem to satisfy my demands. What should I do?
Well, I’ve made a decision. My wife and I are making a will. We are going to hang the will up in our kitchen and just below it we are going to place a small chalkboard with both of our daughters’ names on it. Here’s how we hope to make some progress: if they break a rule, any rule, no matter how small, we are going to wipe their names off the chalkboard. If they get wiped off, they’re out. No inheritance, no longer part of the family. We think that this punishment will make them “tow the line.” If they are constantly terrified of being kicked out of our family surely they will stop breaking the rules and start being obedient, perfectly obedient – all the time.
Now, some of our friends have warned us that this might be a harmful thing to do. One friend actually said that living in the shadow of abandonment will actually cause our children to make more mistakes. She said; “when children live in constant fear of breaking specific rules they tend to focus on those rules that they broke most recently.” She added that; “soon they will break rules they weren’t focused on, because they were trying to perfectly keep the ones they had obsessed over. Now they’ll have a new obsession.” She said; “pretty soon they will realize that perfection is a hopeless pursuit and they will just give up.”
That gave us some pause. We certainly do not want them to give up. Our hope is the opposite - that eventually they will keep all of our rules and be worthy of our inheritance. In fact, the things our friends were telling us really made us slow down and reflect on our new philosophy. But then we realized what hypocrites they were being. You see, our friends are Christians. Here they were telling us not to treat our children with such rigid standards yet look at them! Of course, they don’t treat their children that way. No, they are very loving and compassionate with their children. They forgive them all the time, and sometimes they just overlook mistakes toward a so called “greater good.” This is how they thought all people should raise their children. But then we noticed a glaring inconsistency because this is not how they relate to their God. These same people who told us not to treat our children like they can be perfectly obedient turn around and expect perfect obedience from their self. “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Phil 2:12) they say. They remind us that God is a jealous God who has never tolerated disobedience and sin (no matter what sin) is disobedience; hence any single sin will get us kicked out of God’s family.
But we reply; think about it: God is a father. We are to imitate God. If this is how God treats us; fear of abandonment, rigid rules, a “little blackboard of righteousness” shouldn’t we imitate it with our own children? Why don’t we kick our kids out of the family every time they fail, if that is what God does?
Do you see where this is going? Every thing I’ve said till now is made up. My wife and I do not treat our children that way. Why? It’s common sense. We don’t disown our children every time they make a mistake because they are our children. The family bond we have supersedes the problems that sometimes arise from our weaknesses and failures. We look at our children and see our family and God does the same thing. Jesus Himself taught us to view God as our Heavenly Father: In the model prayer Jesus prayed; “Our Father who art in Heaven… (Matt 6:9).” In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus made intercession for us, and the first word He said was; “Father” (John 17:1). Then in Romans 1:7 the Apostle Paul greets his brothers and sisters by saying “Grace and Peace from our Father…”
Make no mistake. We are God’s family. He adopted us (Ephesians 1). As family, we have a special relationship with God. He calls us to peace and to freedom. He offers us salvation and fills us with hope. But what do we do?
In every family, the relationship is reciprocal. You do something, I do something. Parents love and nurture and discipline, and children are expected to learn and grow and love. Like a good parent God looks at us as His children. In fact, there is an entire section of scripture that makes this comparison. Hebrews 12:3-11 compares Earthly Fathers with the Heavenly Father. The writer makes many points, but the fundamental truth in the text is that God is working on us. He says that God disciplines (chastens) us when we need it. And boy do we need it? Like family, God doesn’t allow us to just go live and act however we feel at the time. No, we have a family name to think about. We are the children of the King and He expects us to act like it. But gladly for us, we serve a patient King.
But what specifically is my end of the bargain? What do I have to do to make God happy? All of these are legitimate questions that we will address next month. But until then you need to know this; God wants you to go to Heaven. He loves you. He is rooting for you to win. He hurts when you hurt and He’s happy when you are. He knows your birthday, and the things that scare you. God knows all about you because He’s your Father.